OUR ADOPTION JOURNEY: Homestudy part 2
/We began our adoption journey at the end of 2018..wait, what!???
I didn’t really realize that we have been at this for YEARS until I just typed that out….entering the world of orphan care requires a great deal of patience. You can pretty much guarantee that things will NOT go as planned, as in our case. There will be disappointment for the majority. Bringing a child into your home, any which way, is a battle. Either physically or emotionally… it’s no easy, carefree thing. I feel like many do not talk about adoption failures… so here it goes.
October 2018- decide to adopt internationally. Found an agency to work with. “Soft matched” with a little girl in Colombia(age 8)
January 2019- leave that agency and sign on with another. Still pursuing that same child.
February 2019- Begin homestudy process and start process within Colombia
April 2019- homestudy complete, file for i800a immigration approval through Homeland Security
June 2019- meet with orphanage via skype, they love us! Realize USCIS is taking too long…it was supposed to take 4-6 weeks max.
September 2019- Immigration hasn’t come yet. We inquire and battle a disgruntled case worker. We ask politicians to get involved and inquire on our behalf- This included a letter to the president’s office… they opened an investigation into USCIS
October 2019- Orphanage needs to search for a new home for the girl. Our immigration approval was just taking too long:(
December 2019- Put in a letter of intent on two sisters needing a home… ages 14 & 8
January 2020- Colombia wants to wait to move forward until we have the i800a approval
February 2020- USCIS FINALLY responds. They sent us a RFE(request for evidence) They were being picky but also I think they needed to have a reason to have made us wait over a year. Something that should have taken 75 days. What a joke!
April 2020- Sent USCIS the documents they need…and updated homestudy. Homestudies are usually only good for a certain amount of time… so we needed to redo so many documents!
June 2020- Receive Immigration Approval!!! whoohooo!!!!
August 2020- Agency informs us that the government of Colombia has rejected our family to adopt in their country. We were told it was because of many reasons… something feels very off with this. We could have switched countries at this point. Our options were Mexico or Honduras… we prayed and prayed and God said “no more”. We decided to go with our last resort option instead. We decide to become a California resource family, aka foster family. We begin the process to transfer our documents into foster documents. It was super easy, not too much to do! We complete our parent training.
September 2020- Where we are at right now. We have our home visit with our social worker tomorrow. Just to make sure we are compliant with all the safety regulations. After this, we will be registered as a foster family! We feel at peace with this and are super excited.
After this, our agency will be actively searching for the waiting child that is meant to be in our family. So, we will probably not be doing the normal foster care gig which include cases that strive for “family reunification”. There are thousands of waiting children whose parental rights have been terminated. I kind of hate when people say “there is no such thing as foster to adopt”…actually, yes. MANY children are waiting to be adopted, especially older children. This common foster care point of view is very ignorant. It assumes ALL foster cases are the same and that there are absolutely no children who dream of a family. Not every case is meant for family reunification. What about the cases of severe abuse? Should we really be fighting to let a parent regain their children after they have pimped them out? What about toddlers being raped? Should they “go home”…hell no. I think these things are unfathomable for many of us. But they exist and no, they shouldn’t go back home if they are at risk. So that statement is very isolating to children who do not fall into that category. Why don’t we just say… “ foster care has many different outcomes and what is best for one child might not be right for the next”. I know we have soooo much more to learn about this process, but I believe our battle with our failed international adoption has prepared our hearts and patience. We have done double the amount of parent training which I know will aid us in the future. We let all the little things go in this journey. We realize just how blessed with are with the children within the walls of our home. We know things may not go as planned and it’s just best to roll with the punches.
And that is where we are at and why we are here…God’s way is ALWAYS the better plan, we we will continue to just roll with that! More updates soon!
